Happy Holidays!

So I have to admit, the holiday season isn't so bad this year...so far. I had my doubts, but I've been enjoying the crisp weather, Christmas shopping, putting up decorations, and cozying up in my warm, festive studio. Today my Grandmama sent me some christmas kitchen towels, baked goodies, and a tree topper that added the perfect touch to my sanctuary. My mom came to visit a couple weeks ago to celebrate my birthday early, and it was THE best visit ever. It rained all weekend, but we had a blast anyway. When I got home from work she had my Christmas tree set up, presents underneath, and a stocked fridge! She gave me a really cool ipod speaker system so that I can play music throughout the room, and some new flannel sheets! We ordered CPK and had a relaxing night in, watching tv. Saturday we got up early and painted one of my walls a very calming, light brown color. It is very warm and inviting! We also went to Best Buy to get me a new tv because mine was on it's last leg. Originally, I was going to get a small normal tv, but she decided to go big and I got a 27inch flat screen sony! This is great because you all know how much I love to watch tv and movies. (Am I not supposed to admit to that?) We went wine tasting in paso robles to Bella Luna and Tobin James wineries. I even got to wax my own 72 dollar bottle of wine! :) Wahoo! After tasting we went out to Mothers for dinner and then snuggled up to Love Actually.

Other than that I've just been working and shopping. I went to my work's holiday party at Steamers in Pismo, exhanged Christmas presents with Timo and went out for a nice dinner for my birthday, played secret santa at work, and mailed out all of my Christmas cards! I leave for Arizona on Saturday and will be there through the holiday til Dec 28th. I'll be going to San diego Saturday the 30th to watch a Chargers game with Timo (his Christmas present from me) and then we are celebrating New Years Eve downtown at the ....top of the Hyatt!!! ;)

Now it's time for GOOD vs BAD:

GOOD: winning a raffle prize at the company party
BAD: winning an extra large promega fleece as the prize

GOOD: buying loved ones gifts
BAD: having to mail them since I won't be with them for Christmas

GOOD: fancy cookies
BAD: no more fancy cookies

GOOD: a new TV
BAD: no dvd player

GOOD: fresh clean laundry
BAD: having to sneak into the next door apartments to do laundry

GOOD: Birthday cards
BAD: Christmas cards that say "Oh, and Happy Birthday"

GOOD: playing music at work
BAD: playing Weird Al Yankovich at work

GOOD: New Years Eve
BAD: New Years Eve without a smooch from Rach!

Fog

I love driving around late at night through the fog. Shielded by the misty sky, I am the only person awake; the only car on the road, safe from all the worries of the day. I move in slow motion through the quaint little town, driving past murky buildings and faint lights. There is peace in the quiet night and comfort in my cozy warm car. The fog acts as a pillow, where San Luis Obispo will rest for the night, hidden among the feathery clouds and closed off to the outside world.

Quaint Cottage

ok so I finally got around to posting some pictures of my studio for those of you who haven't seen it and want to know how I live :)

Sweet November

So I've been trying to decide what to do with my life...as usual. I have a great job, but every day I come up with another reason why it is not for me. Yesterday we had a science poster session after work so that all the chemists could share their research posters from their trip to Wisconsin. First of all, they were ugly because it was just 8x11 sheets of paper pinned up in order. The main reason to take interest in a poster is the pictures right? Yes. I had no pictures to look at so I decided to try to read them. It was impossible. I felt like I was reading a different language, or English with a very heavy chinese accent. Anyway, as I was staring absently at the posters, a coworker asked how much chemistry I had taken in college. I told him I was a chemistry major, and he goes "oh cool, so you've seen all this before." HA! Yeah right. Apparently I haven't' had enough chemistry classes. So, I felt really dumb, and I hung out with the finance and admin people instead. We talked about how good the snacks were Wahoo.

On the flip side, today at work, another coworker came up to me asking if I'd be interested in writing the local ACS newsletter for next year! I told him I was definitely interested, so we'll see if that works out! I am supposed to be getting one in the mail soon to check it out and get ideas.

I've also been brainstorming other ideas for my life. Helya and I were discussing different options we had as chemistry majors and she came up with getting a masters in nutritional science, and I looked into food science. They offer the programs at Long Beach State, but we'd have to take a lot of prereq classes first which would take FOREVER. Ugg. I started looking for MS programs that didn't require the same BS degree. There are a lot of random ones out there like "MA in Fundraising" or "MA in tourism and travel management" How freaking awesome is that? Who does this stuff? Do people actually go to school to get a degree in fundraising?? I also looking into Cal Poly's teaching credential program too....I think teaching kindergarten would be fun ;) Haha

Other than that, life has been OK. Halloween was awesome because Rach, Kara, and Scott all came to stay with me! I went to a hippy party which was great because I got to see some old friends and listen to a great band. We also went to sushi and downtown in costume...after pre-partying with Alize at the travelodge of course. We are so classy.


My dad comes tomorrow for a weekend visit! I am looking forward to it. Hopefully the weather is nice so that we can go outdoors and hike or play at the beach. YAY dad.

Lastly, I booked my ticket for HAWAII to visit Heather for her birthday in January! I got a sweet deal so I couldn't pass it up. I am using every last hour of vacation time for Christmas and Hawaii. Woot Woot. I wish it was January already.

As far as my love life goes, John Mayer explains it better than I ever could.

"I don't know where you went when you left me, but it says here in the water, you must be gone by now, I can tell somehow. One hand on the trigger of the telephone, wondering when the call comes, when you say it's alright, you got your heart right. Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat, and wait on the porch til you come back home. We share the sadness, split screen sadness. 'All you need is love' is a lie cuz we had love but we still said goodbye. Now we're tired, battered fighters. And it stings when it's nobody's fault, and there's nothing to blame, at the drop of your name, it's only the air you took and the breath you left. I called because I just need to feel you on the line, don't hang up this time. And I know it's me who called it over but I just wish you'd fought me til your dying day, don't let me get away. Cuz I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me so I can say this is the way that I used to be, there's no substitute for time, so leave me alone, just leave my side. It's alright, we share a sadness, it's alright, it's yours and mine, it's alright."

Smile!

Smile for:

• a new haircut
• Nine West boots
• a clean house
• red potatoes
• The Bachelor (and Grey's Anatomy, Lost, 6 Degrees...etc - I am a loser)
• spooning
• Tim in a german hat, smoking a cigar, while double fisting pints of beer.
  
• napping after work
• decorating for Halloweener
• lightning!
• Helya on Friday!
  
• Rach and Kara in two weeks!
• dancing to reggae
• Mr. 619
• face caresses
• costco
• my mariner

Frown for:

• TMJ
• TMJ medicine that gives me chronic heartburn
• working
• being cold
• dirty dishes
• laundromats
• waking up early
• belly aches
• heart ache
• missing my mama
• losing earrings
• lack of stores that sell quaint undies in SLO
• earthquakes in Hawaii scaring my Heatherbug
• bills
• not enough bills
• Bills

Yearn for:

• a massage
• hot springs
• Avila Barn
• my lovelies
• making out
• Skyy Melon
• vacation days
• golden trees
• wireless internet
  

Wheel

People have the right to fly
And will when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it along

And airports, see it all the time
Where someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand, a single rose

That's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And I won't be the last
No I won't be the last, to love her

You can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And you won't be the first
No you won't be the first, to love me

You can find me, if you ever want to give
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around, I'll be around
And if you never stop when you wave goodbye
You just might find if you give it time
You will wave hello again
You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it(repeat)

I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see yeah
The love I give return to me.
I believe that my life's gonna see the love I give
Return to me...


Please tell me how after a summer full of love, adventure, Disneyland, Vegas, and Lake Tahoe, two people can fall apart? Shouldn't those things just make the glue stronger? Hmph! I don't get it.


Return to me!

Ladonna

I was going through some old posts on my other blog and wanted to see what my life was like a year ago today. I was very sad then because my grandma Ladonna passed away. I remember feeling empty and speechless. I cried a lot and wished I had one more day with my beloved grandmother. Since she passed, I think about her often and imagine her telling me how proud she is and how she can't wait to give me a big hug. Her laugh echoes, and I know her spirit is always there, trying to protect me from harm and sadness. My family remembers her lovely life, and all of the wonderful things she did for everyone. We always say, 'Ladonna would LOVE this'. I miss her terribly. I miss her beautiful handwriting in the letters she'd send. I miss the softness of her sweater against my cheek as we'd hug. I miss her making green 7up on St. Patrick's day. I miss spending part of the holidays with her and making fun of my grandpa together. I miss sending her pictures and telling her all about my life. I'd like to be unselfish and stop crying about my life for a minute here, and realize that there are worse things... like living alone because your wife is no longer with you, or watching your mom suffer from a three year long illness, or being only 5 years old and losing a grandma before you really got to know her. I know one thing for certain; life was a whole lot better with her in it.

"If I could open my mouth wide enough for a marching band to march out

They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off of the buildings"

Missing my summer heart

Tim and I ended the summer with a bang. Disneyland was a spontaneous trip as we left town Friday at midnight, arrived in Anaheim at 4am, slept in our king sized pillowtop hotelroom bed, and spent all of Saturday enjoying being kids again. Space Mountain was our favorite, but Thunder Mountain was a classic thrill. I hadn't been to Dland in at least 8 years, so it was nice to experience it again with my lovey.

Our next adventure was to Lake Tahoe to visit my dad during memorial day weekend. Tim had never been there before, and since I was born there, I figured it would be nice to show him around somewhere so beautiful and so familiar to me. We spent the night at my aunt's house in South Lake Tahoe the first night, and met up with my dad in Gardnerville the following day and took a little road trip to Reno to pick up my brother. Tim was able to witness all of the awesomeness that the Carson Valley and Reno have to offer. The next day we went hiking up near Kirkwood, to Winnemucca lake. It was a beautiful hike and we even saw snow and my brother shoe-skiied down a snow patch :) Tim and I drove to the stateline in Tahoe to walk around the casinos and quaint shops. It was a perfect evening, but home was calling, and our 7 hour drive was ahead of us.


The very next weekend, we flew out of SLO on Friday night to Vegas!! We didn't get to Treasure Island until after 11, so we grabbed a bite to eat, gambled a bit, and passed out in the most comfortable hotel bed I have ever experienced. Tim woke up early to bet on sports, while I slept in like the princess that I am. The weekend began with a long walk down the strip all the way to Luxor. We stopped to eat at a buffet in the Monte Carlo, and again for huge daquiris from Coyote Ugly in the New York New York. We walked through the MGM, and back to Ceasars to visit my friend Audra who works as Cleopatra. She was soo beautiful! I hadn't seen her in three years, so we were all smiles, and I could see the real Audra underneath the costume. Tim insisted on getting a daquiri refill back on the other side of the strip, so I agreed and the minute it touched my lips, I knew I'd made a big mistake. We had to take the monorail back to Harrahs, and the walk from Harrahs across the street to Treasure Island was excruciating. I felt like I was going to explode from too much liquid and alcohol. I went back to the room, got sick, and passed out for a few hours. Dinner was impossible, as I still felt sick to my stomach, and every single restaurant was either about to close or packed. Finally at 10:30 we managed to find a mexican restaurant that would have been really good but the second I took a bite, I felt nauseous again. I had to lay down again, and slept until Audra called at midnite. She and her boyfriend came to our room and we had some drinks, and went out to the Tangerine. It was crowded, and the drinks were 10-12 bucks a pop, so we didn't stay long. Sunday, Tim and I walked around the Venetian shops, and went to the Wax Museum and took pictures with all of the "celebrities". We also ate at a quaint sushi restuarant, walked around the new Wynn Hotel, and went to see Mystere, a cirque de soleil show at Treasure Island. It was AMAZING. Oh my gosh, it was the best show ever. Those people are incredible talented, and I honestly can't figure out how they do what they do. GO SEE IT!! Unfortunatly the weekend was over, it was time to go to the airport. It was one of the best weekends ever (besides getting sick), and I miss Vegas already!!!

Since then we've been relaxing at home in SLO. It's nice to just sit and enjoy our little town, but I do love to travel and experience other places. Now school is starting for Tim tomorrow. It's weird seeing all of the incoming freshman and everyone walking around looking for parties. I feel like I am left out in a way, but at the same time I am so happy I don't have tests and homework to worry about. I actually like the autumn season. The air becomes crisp, the town is alive again, and I get to cozy up next to my love and fall asleep with a cool breeze through the window. Life is not so bad.

"when autumn comes it doesn't ask
it just walks in, where it left you last
you never know when it starts
until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart"

Life's waiting to begin...

I am lonely. By the end of next weekend, nearly every single friend I have made in college will be gone. It is a very very sad thought, but I know it is just life. Unfortunately for me, my dear friends are not only departing from their college experiences, but they are leaving their lovely, safe, exciting, nurturing home of 5+ years. They will all travel to wherever their sparkling new career takes them, and by this time next year, we could all be very different people.

I thought I was lucky to get a job in SLO, so that I could still be with my best friends and call this beautiful place, "home", but now I am not 100% sold. On one hand, I am so thrilled that I get to be near my Tim while he finishes school. He is my world and I am 438438754 times more happy when he is around. Also, I found a decent paying job that will build my resume, and helloooo I get to live in San Luis Obispo! Then my mind wanders to a more pessimistic outlook...why can't I move away and go on a big life-altering adventure? I wanted to! I tried so hard getting into schools far away and applying for jobs all over California, but to no avail, I ended up here. I love going new places. I want to travel. I am not afraid of leaving home! So why am I the ONLY one staying?!

This leads me to the point that I believe everything happens for a reason. There must be a reason I am still in SLO while everyone I love is moving away from me - I guess I will find out someday. For now, I will try to be positive, and enjoy living here as much as I can. Tim and I want to find some sort of club to join...a salsa club perhaps. We kinda live in a town where if you don't go to college, there's no way to meet new people. Arggh...at least I have Tim, right? YES!

Anyway, I just want to tell everyone who is leaving (or has already left) that I hate you all. No, actually I love you and I am very proud and happy that everything is working out for everyone. I know in my heart that my dearest friends will stay that way forever. "Even though we are far apart, you will always be in my heart", yadda yadda and all those other mushy quotes about being away from those you love. I just please ask that you all keep in touch *cough myspace cough cough* and that you call me if you are ever lonely or sad, but mostly when you are happy so that I don't become even more depressed, thank you very much.

"The most important thing in life is creating loving relationships"

My Amazing Lovelies who I think about every day:

• Tylia - Genentech, Oceanside - I WILL live in San Diego one day my love
• Joanna - Grad student for athletic training in Arkansas- I WILL visit you!
• Shannon and Joe - the crazy couple...good luck in grad school in Oregon you nerds!
• Heather - Hawaii with your new hubby. ahh I hate that you are so far away, but thanks for picking an awesome place to visit!
• Rachel - I hope you don't become the little old lady from Pasadena, but I am glad you found a suitable first job at a hospital. You rock. I am coming to visit you...on your first day away. hahahaha I am soooo weak!!!!!! Does this mean we are too old to get drunk and dance? (please say no)
• Helya - :( please dont leave me. I am only okay with it because Jon is still here, so that means you HAVE to be here sometimes. I am SO happy for you though. I hope you love your new job, but mostly I hope you still let me whine to you about all of my problems.
• Jess - you said you are leaving in March...so until then, let's play!

I will miss you all. :(

My other friends who left me:

• Jay - Genentech Vacaville
• Dobber - Monterey farmer :)
• Brie - grad school in Texas
• Michelle - grad school UCSB
• Pf - Texas Instruments! TX
• Alissa - Washington DC
• Jon - still in UCLA ;)
• my new friend Scott- you're lame for going North! (and leaving Rach)

Tim, come home soon so I am not lonely anymore!

"The things that are worth it are never easy"

Don't be sad because guess what? I got a new car! A Mercury Mariner SUV. All white with tan interior..I'll post pictures soon. :)

Also...
Tim and I are going to Tahoe for labor day weekend

and...
Vegas the weekend after that. :)

So my life isn't completely bad.

Well Hello There!

After over a month without an update, I FINALLY have some time to write a little bit. SO much has happened since May. I went to Jillian's Bridal Shower in Vacaville with my super cool convertible rent-a-car. A bunch of friends and I helped Tim celebrate his 24th birthday at Tsurugi. Everyone and their mom graduated (congrats Helya, Rachel, Jess, Sara, Reza, Mike, Heather, Ryan, Lazy, and whoever else I am forgetting, sorry, there were just SO many!). It was a great weekend celebrating everyone and seeing their families. My only real vacation this summer was when I went to Cabo for Heather's AMAZING wedding week. It was probably one of the most loving, luxurious, beautiful, exciting, and memorable events I have ever witnessed! We stayed in a beachfront house with a pool, and all the food and alcohol we could ever want - for free- all week long. The wedding included tiki torches, pink and orange lanterns, fireworks, fajitas, and a giant pool party! YAY for Heather and Ryan!!

The biggest life change is my brand new CAREER a week and a half ago. I am a pro Mass Spec user, and an expert-in-training on the NMR. It's been really great learning new things, meeting new people, and drumroll please....sitting at my very own desk with my very own computer. I feel important, and the days go by fast and I receive my first paycheck this week which will make it all worth it! Today I tried pipetting for the first time since my sophomore year in college (~3 years ago), and I spilled all over the place like a big re-re hahahahaha. The only thing I'm insanely qualified for is using the software, clicking around like I know what I'm doing. Otherwise, I just try to look cute and do what I'm told. Really, all I do is wonder how the the general manager got her job sitting in the big office doing paper work and making phone calls all day. I want that job.

I also moved around the corner from my last apartment. My mom came down last weekend to help and she brought along her minions - Philip (or "Phil" as he likes to be called) and his friend Michael (Mike?). My mom is so nice, I need to learn how to be more like her. Anyway, I am now the proud resident of a quaint little studio above a garage in a new residential neighborhood. It has a cute kitchen and a porch with a balcony that makes my heart warm. I LOVE it. Come visit!

Tim and I celebrated our one year anniversary (of meeting ;) last weekend too. He took me to Montana de Oro to eat Tahoe Joe's take out looking over the ocean. It was BEAUTIFUL! Then, we went to Sycamore Mineral Springs and had a romantic evening in the hot tubs! Thanks Timo! You're the best. I love you! Since I had Monday off (whoo hoo), Tim and I BBQd, went to see Nacho Libre, and organized my apartment a bit. For the 4th, we went to Cayucos and watched the fireworks!

Well, I'm spent. I'm sure I am missing something in there, but I am too tired to think about it. Time to crawl under my new sheets and watch my very own TV! I love my life, and I love even more that YOU'RE in it! All of you. xoxo

Upcoming summer events:

• Brie's wedding - Saturday!
• Jillian's Bachelorette Party - July 15th - San Francisco
• Jillian's wedding - July 22nd
• I live for weekends and Vacation days.
• I want to go to Disneyland, Tahoe, San Diego, Big Sur, Yosemite
• Take me?
• K, Thx.

New Life!

Hi, my name is Jaime Rogers and I am the new Analytical Research Assistant in San Luis Obispo.

You Could be Happy

You could be happy, and I won't know.
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go.

And all the things that I wish I had not said,
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head.

Is it too late to remind you how we were,
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur.

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door.

You could be happy, I hope you are.
You've made me happier than I've been by far.

Somehow everything I own smells of you.
And for the tiniest moment, it's all not true.

Do the things you that you always wanted to.
Without me there to hold you back
Don't think, just do.

More than anything I want to see you go,
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world.

~SNOW PATROL

Senior Project

It is official. I turned in my senior project today! It only took me 1.6 quarters after I graduated to finish it..haha. Oh well, it's done! YAY! Now, I can get my incompletes fixed (right RS?), and my DIPLOMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's celebrate.

"She's Pretty Great"

• I like sushi. Well, kinda. I went out with some friends and actually tried it, and yes, they were proud. The first roll I had was the Ninja (heeyah!) and I put the entire thing in my mouth as instructed, and blech! it was sickening. The seaweed-wrapped mound was NOT good, so on the next one, I took off the seaweed and ate the insides with a fork. It was delicious!!!!!!! Then, I had a Crunchy Roll. This one was better because it wasn't wrapped with seaweed, but it was huge, so when I put it all in my mouth, I couldn't even breathe, chew, swallow, nothing! I tried another one, this time cutting it in half, and it was much much much better. Finally, I had another similar roll without seaweed again and it was quite nice....with a fork. Overall, the highlight of the night was the edamame and my dear soda. I would definitely go again as long as I can use a fork, and you don't make me eat a whole piece at once.

• I have been job hunting because EAS isn't paying the bills. I decided I need more experience in the industry because a) there's better paying jobs out there for my qualifications and b) I'm bored and I want to try something new. Eventually, if I get into grad school, I'll probably go, because I am 80% sure I will not enjoy running instruments and analyzing data for too long.

• I am currently looking for a new roommate. My roommate is moving home for the summer and won't be coming back because he is transfering to Saint Mary's up north. This sucks because his dad pays most of the rent and I give him $500 for my own room and bathroom in a really nice apartment. Since I don't want to move again I am staying but the rent is going up! I haven't found a new roommate yet, but a couple people have been interested. Let me know if you know anyone who needs a home starting June 1!!!

• I threw Heather's Red Hot Lingerie party last weekend, and it was a HUGE success. Heather had a great time, and she got a million pairs of new panties, and crotchless bloomers compliments of Ryan's parents! How great is that??

• A bunch of us went to Vallartas for Cinco de Mayo for dinner and margaritas! We ended up having 5 or 6 pitchers, and pretty much the entire restuarant was drunk and crazy. It was a great time with great friends!

• We leave for Vegas in 10 days!!!! Heather, Rachel, Alissa and I are driving from here and we are picking up Joanna and Lindsay from the airport. Vegas + 6 girls + bachelorette = insanely good times. I can't wait!!!

• That is my grand update. Life is getting better, and things are starting to work out....maaaybe.

Lame.

Sometimes I wish I was an idiot. Life would be so much easier. I could just go to college to meet my husband, get married, go shopping, cook, decorate, and have babies. No wonder women decide to give up a career for a family...it's a lot less stressful, and you can do whatever you want all day long. Okay maybe that's not all it's cracked up to be, but it sounds better than making chemical solutions or wearing goggles. I am all for equal treatment of the sexes, and I'm smart, so you're probably thinking, "feminism!! make a change! Show them what you can do!" BUT it's really hard trying to find a job with a chemistry degree when I don't even want to work in a lab. Nevertheless, the companies I am applying to are amazing but so what? I'm going to be in a lab, testing stuff on machines for the rest of my life. LAME and BORING. THIS is why I wanted to do science journalism, so I could travel somewhere new, write about interesting phenomena, meet other really smart people, interview doctors and scientists, learn how to write better, and actually see the day light. I wish I was born dumb, because then I would have no decisions to make, no choice but to sit on my ass or do some mindless job, while my hubby was bringing home the bacon. I wouldn't have to feel guilty thinking I was wasting my education. There would be no education, there would be no waste. Life would be easy.

Smalls, Inc.

Check out my new web site. It has photos, blog, music, links, and more! I will still keep this blog because that one doesn't allow commenting. It's just a start, but I'll keep updating it. Enjoy!


Smalls, Inc.

Not Bored for Long!

I haven't written anything lately because my life has been DULL. It's about to get wild though, so get ready for some exciting stories. Besides being a brunette, the only thing that is different in my life is that I finished my senior project (besides making edits for RS and printing it out), and well, that's all that is different. Lame. I'm supposed to hear back from Kent State in 2 weeks, but I am not so sure I even want to go anymore. RS said "if you really want to do Science Journalism, don't let NYU or BU tell you that you can't." But how would I do it without being accepted to a program? The only other program is at MIT and I sure as hell won't get in there. I found some "environmental writing" programs at schools like Missouri, Wisconsin, and Michigan, which sounds easier and still interesting, but I'd still have to wait another year to apply...so what do I do until then? I 'm too poor to sit around and wait for application season. Another idea was to get my teaching credential to teach chemistry in high school. I think I would really enjoy this, but again, it's too late to apply and I'd have to wait until January to start. It's still an option, and I will probably still apply. I just have to figure out which CSU's to apply to. I'm thinking either Cal Poly or SDSU. Last, but according to my mom, most definitely not least, I am job hunting. I like my job at EAS, but it barely pays the bills, and I am ready for something new. I pretty much guaranteed them that I will stay till August, but I an currently searching for something new - something to give me a different type of experience - and more money! Anyway, thats my life right now - that and my wonderful boyfriend who tells me that I should be more positive because I have a degree in chemistry, all of my limbs, no terminal illness, a family who cares about me, and I'm "hot". Thank god for him.

Some wonderful things to come:

• Today:Housesitting for my boss for a week at his beautiful home - pretending I'm a queen.
• April 29: Heather's Bridal Shower at my house- "Red Hot Lingerie Party"
• May 6: Mom, Grandpa, Lisa and fam come Bisit! We're staying at the beach!
• May 19-21: Vegas for Heather's Bachelorette party!
• May 27-29: Memorial Day Weekend! (Kara is coming!!)
• June 5: Timo's 24th Bday!
• June 10: Lots of loves graduate! (Helya, Rachel, Heather, Jess, Brie, Ryan, your mom)
• June 17-24: CABO for Heather's wedding week!!!!!
• June 30: Jillian's Bachelorette Party!
• July 8: Brie's Wedding!
• July 19-23: Jillian's Wedding weekend!

I'm exhausted just thinking about it!
Starting July 24 I will be homeless for bills. Please donate.
Also, I'll take you away in the way that you take me and go where I go.

New Hair!

I got my hair done Wednesday night! I really like it!! It's really dark, but that's what I wanted so yay! Now, I just need to get a little color back in my face. I've been really sick for the past couple of days, and I'm finally starting to feel a little bit better. I've pretty much been horizontal for 48 hours. Yuck. In other news, I found out today I got rejected by Boston University. I knew it was coming, so whatever. So far I've been rejected from 3/4 schools I've applied to. I feel like I wasted a lot of time and money on those stupid schools. ROAR! I'm an idiot. The last one I'm waiting for is Kent State for an MS in Chemistry, so even if I get in (odds are I won't) I don't know if i want to go and do chemistry. So, I dunno really what's going to happen. I guess I should start looking for jobs, or maybe going to get my teaching credential. Anyway, I'm off to eat for the first time today...I've probably lost 5 pounds from being sick..NOT GOOD! Good luck to everyone else waiting to hear back from grad schools.

Something Worse...

Believe it or not, there is actually something worse than stanky coffee breath. As most of you probably already know, I did not get into NYU. =( Their letter even said, "We cannot believe you applied here, what were you thinking? Idiot." Just kidding, they didn't say that, but I am really disapointed that I didn't get in. Luckily, I was on my way to San Diego when I found out so I had a nice weekend to get my mind elsewhere. Poo on NYU. Rejection sucks. But hey, my mom and my aunt are going to take me on vacation to New York this summer. WOOT! I'm still waiting to hear back from Boston University and Kent State. I doubt I'll get into Boston, but Kent is possible...but I'm not even sure if I want to go there. Ugg I wish I was a trust fund baby and I could just go shoe shopping all day.

On a lighter note, I had a blast in San Diego with Tim this weekend. We left SLO at 11 on Friday morning and didn't get to San Diego until 830!!! Damn rain and lame lame lame LA. We stayed at the Grand Hyatt by the harbor downtown, and it was probably the nicest hotel I've been to. When we arrived, there was a bottle of wine on ice and cheese, crackers and fruit...we couldn't figure out why we were so special, but I finally realized it was probably my mom! So I called her and sure enough, she had made arrangements with the hotel to surprise us with treats!!! What a sweet mom!

We dressed in green and went to Mooses to meet up with some of Tim's friends. We drank for a bit, and chair danced until it was time to walk back to the hotel. We went to the very top of the Hyatt to the bar that looks over the bay and the city. It was beautiful!!!

Saturday, we slept in and checked out of the hotel. I didn't want to leave!! Tim showed me places he used to live and his old highschool and all his favorite places to eat. We hung out with his dad for a bit and got ready for Tim's friend's 21st birthday party. It was a black and pink party at the Barona Casino. This party was incredible! It was decorated like a wedding with pink and black balloons, pink roses, pretty table settings with name placards and a wine glass filled with goodies for everyone to take home. There was a dj, and an open bar, and a three course dinner and coffee. Tim and I swing danced, and attempted salsa but my feet kept getting tangled in the balloon strings, my bra was falling, and I was a bit tipsy so we probably looked silly, but it was a blast. After the party, Tim, Dan, Ali, and I went to the casino and the guys gambled while us girls gave them good luck with our magic pink rings. It worked because they both won!! Later that night we went to Tim's mom's house and hung out for a bit before bed. Tim's family is so sweet!! I had a really nice time meeting them, and seeing where Tim grew up!

To do:

• Put the finishing touches on my senior project and turn it in!
• Plan Heather's Lingerie Party for April
• Plan Jillian's Bachelorette Party
• Scrapbook like mad!
• Go to Disneyland
• Dye my hair chocolate
• House sit in April for 10 days
• Get rich

Nothing Worse

There's nothing worse than coffee breath. EWW! I drank two hazelnut mocha's this morning and now my mouth tastes like shit. I am afraid for those who have to talk to me (stay away!). I can't wait to go home and brush my teeth. SHIT! My toothbrush is still in Atascadero! Okay, new rule: There's nothing worse than having bad coffee breath and no toothbrush. :(

There's nothing better than a big, juicy In and Out cheeseburger (purchased from a DRIVE THRU!!!!). I had the luxury of enjoying one last night while I was up in Atascadero housesitting. I devoured that sucker. I plan on having another one sometime this weekend.

BTW, T-5 days until I hear from NYU. (I'm not getting in.)

Failure to Launch tomorrow! Can't wait. So excited. MM and SJP rock my world. (Especially combined with a bit of Helya and Rachel)

P.S. Don't use this new (worthless) blog as an excuse not to respond to my last one--it is more important. Do it!

Peace out Nucca.

Change your hair, change your life?

I'm thinking of dying my hair dark brown (via Carlos). I just feel like I need a change. My hair is so boring and I always have it the same way. It's really annoying that I've looked exactly the same in every picture for the past 5 years. On one hand, I do think it looks good light and blonde, but on the other hand, I always have it light, so maybe a change will be refreshing and exciting (and hot)? Some people say they liked when my hair was dark (when I dyed it myself a couple years ago), and I liked it too, but then others tell me they only like it blonde. ROAR! I need some more opinions. I am not afraid to change it, in fact, I love taking risks, but I just want to make sure I'll still have friends. :)

Some pictures of me with darker hair--for your voting pleasure.

The Space Between

I LOVE TIM.
I also love Dave Matthews. I wish I wrote this song.
Does anyone know if it's possible to link to a song from
this blog so that people can hear it as they read this?
If not, go to MYSPACE and listen...

You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me 
No corner you could squeeze me 
But I got all the time for you, love

The Space Between 
The tears we cry 
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between 
The wicked lies we tell 
And hope to keep safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking 
These twisted games we're playing

We're strange allies
With warring hearts 
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...

Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster 
You know you went off like a devil 
In a church in the middle of a crowded room 
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down

The Space Between 
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you 
The rain that falls 
Splash in your heart
 Ran like sadness down the window into...

The Space Between 
Our wicked lies 
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand 
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here 
Love is all we need here

The Space Between 
What's wrong and right 
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you 
The Space Between
 Your heart and mine 
Is the space we'll fill with time 
The Space Between...




I get goosebumps...

"Don't wake me...

...I plan on sleeping in." I think The Postal Service wrote that song just for me. I love to sleep. Today (Wednesday) was the first day since Friday that I've had to be up early for work. So, all weekend I've enjoyed harmonious sleep. "Sleeping in" to me requires that I sleep past 9:00, but usually when I have the opportunity, I sleep as late as possible. Saturday I slept in til 11, Sunday till noon, and Monday till 1. Notice a trend? :) I love my life. Monday was amazing because I didn't have work (thank you Mr. President) so I stayed in my pajamas all day watching Nip/Tuck season 1, playing on my new ibook, and eating yummy food with Timo. He surprised me with these really pretty earrings that I told him I liked in a magazine a few weeks ago. It's thoughtful things like this that make me like him so much.

For Valentines Day he had me over to his house, and he answered the door dressed up in a shirt and tie, with candles lit all over his apartment. He was cooking dinner, and had the table set, and offered me some wine. It was the cutest thing ever. No one has ever put so much effort into making a sweet Vday for me. Thanks Tim! This weekend should be pretty fun. Sejal is coming from San Jose, and we always have a great time going out with her. Tim also might be having a friend come visit, this time a better one ;) It's Mardi Gras, so we are going downtown to show our boobies...just kidding. Mardi Gras 2003 is when Helya first corrupted me...but that's a good thing because I was a lame-ass prude. Thanks to her I am no longer with Adam (woot!), and I enjoy being social with my friends! She's my hero. So, it's our anniversary, and we are going to break out the vodka and skittles with a side of hookah. Friday will be just what I need after last weekend's debaucle.

My favorite things right now:

• Starbucks Hazelnut Mochas
• Tim's down comforter
• My new earrings
• Cuddling with Rachel while watching Grey's Anatomy
• Nip/Tuck
• my ibook
• my future wedding dress
• listening to Tim talk (Crazy!!)
  
• sleeping in
  

Aye Dios Mio!

Above all, mind what you say. "Behold how much wood is kindled by how small a fire, and the tongue is a fire" - that's the truth.

I made the mistake of overeacting to a situation that was really not a big deal. There were some valid reasons for me to be upset, but overall, I turned something simple into a huge, huge, embarrasing, unnecessary battle. I don't think I've ever been a true bitch to someone who I met for the first time before last night. Again, there were plenty of reasons for me to be bitchy, but my personality rarely includes actually becoming a bitch to new people outloud. (I say new people, because my friends all know I definitely know how to be bitchy). Also, I don't think I've ever been in such a crazy, pointless yelling match with a boyfriend. It really sucks, and I really don't like drama. My mom even said tonight, "this is what you were afraid of: relationships with drama." Yuck. I usually try to stay away from drama that stems from jealousy or bitterness, but for some reason, this time I could NOT stop myself for the love of god! I need to learn how to shut my mouth, but even more, I wish there were a way to get my brain cleansed of all the nasty things that were going through my mind the past couple of days. I mean, really, I imagined all sorts of wild things, and the sad part is, I believed they could actually happen. I am psychotic and I think I need to be checked in. Rachel said tonight, "it's worse when you usually aren't the type to flip out about stuff involving boyfriends, so when you do, it's like you can't control yourself, and it just turns into a huge mess!" She is completely right. Hopefully I got it all out of my system, so I never have to go insane again. Hmph. Thank GOD for Saturday. Time for a little romance.

So with this, I leave you with my daily horoscope which was surprisingly dead on.

Hopefully, you've gotten over the urge to lose your cool and do something crazy, because with the kind of conscience you tote around, it would never work: You'd turn yourself in and apologize in three hours or less. No, you may be fiery, but you know when to call it quits, and it's time. Besides, it's the weekend, and it's time to have fun -- which just so happens to be your specialty.

One more thing...to all the "visitors" out there, pease don't be rude. Stay with someone else if it feels like you are causing problems...and when you know people have plans the next day, get your ass out of bed, and don't overstay your welcome. Thanks.

I am a Believer

There are really no words to convey my experience seeing the Coldplay concert with Rachel last week, but it was

"amazingextrodinaryincrediblesexysensationalastoundingbreathtaking" ;)

First of all, our seats were FABULOUS. I think my eyes popped out of my head and I had to catch my breath when we found out how close we were. We could see that Chris Martin's black pants weren't the same shade of black as his shirt (shame on him), and we could see the sweat dripping off his face, and we knew the guitarist was married because we could see his wedding ring. Pinch me, because I think I am dreaming!

The entire concert was a big exciting blur, partly because I was pretty much in shock the entire time--I mean come on, COLDPLAY, my favorite band of all time, was 20 feet in front of me--all I could do was sing and scream and jump up and down and dance and squeeze Rachel! But also, we were second hand high, which did not help my memory of what songs had been played. I don't even remember Chris singing my favorite song, A Message. :( Stupid pot smokers.

I <3 yellow balls with gold confetti. Enough said.

I DO, however, remember Clocks. Holy shit. Clocks was the most incredible performance I have ever witnessed. I think I had a "concertgasm" (thanks Rach). Chris danced around stage and crawled on the ground, and the lights went crazy, and my heart beat and melted and aaaahhhh I could die happy. Next time you see me, I'll do Chris' crazy dance. Rachel will too.

Okay, so it was the best concert I've ever seen, but WAIT, what about the encore?!?!?! Let me just say, tears almost streamed down my face as Fix You came on. Probably the most beautiful song ever, and I can act out the whole performance, right Tim? (first he sits soulfully at the piano, then...wait for it...wait for it.......then he swings the light!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Tears stream down your face!!!!!!) I have an idea readers! Go to your itunes. Click on "Fix You", and go ahead to about 3 minutes into the song...listen to the music build up, then imagine Chris standing in the middle of a dark stage with a single lantern hanging from the ceiling, and then the song climaxes, and he takes the lantern and throws it out and it swings around in circles and it just captures all the feeling and all the love of his glorious music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, sorry, I just think Coldplay was the most incredible concert ever, and I am a tad psycho about it. Thanks Rachel for the best birthday/graduation/Christmas gift in the whole world, and I couldn't imagine seeing it with anyone else. Coldplay is our new religion.

We are believers.

I'll leave you with my theme song (note picture):

"The Scientist"

Come up to meet you

Tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Let’s go back to the start

Runnin’ in circles
Comin' up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Aww take me back to the start

I was just guessin’
At numbers and figures
Pullin’ the puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh when I rush to the start

Runnin’ in circles
Chasin’ tails
Comin’ back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m goin’ back to the start

Ahhooooooooooooooooo
Ahhooooooooooooooooo
Ahhooooooooooooooooo
Ahhooooooooooooooooo

I HATE the Dentist!

I am NEVER going to the dentist again. Today I got my first cavity filled, and it was the worst experience of my entire life. I'm not even kidding. First of all, I've never had this done before, so I expected a little more explanation of what was going to happen, but all I got was a big needle stuck in the back of my mouth. Lovely. It was the most painful thing I have ever felt. So, the dentist leaves the room saying it will take a few minutes to kick in. Thirty seconds later, I break into a sweat, get dizzy, and my left eye goes blurry. The next thing I know, I am slouched down in the chair trying to regain consciousness before the dentist comes back. I wipe off my brow, and pretend to read a magazine. He comes in to see if I am numb enough, and as luck would have it, I am not. He sticks the needle back in my mouth for round two, and oww! Asshole. This time I don't pass out, but now my entire face is numb, I want to cry, and the assistant is trying to talk to me, but all I want to say is shut the hell up. The dentist comes back a few minutes later, finally ready to invade my mouth with his drill. This scares me. As he is drilling, I start to taste the smoke and pieces of who-knows-what, and it hurts!!! I squirm, moan, and wince, and he notices and stops what he is doing. He looks up at his assistant, scolding her, "I thought you said she was numb!!!" - like its her fault he's an asshole. So, he takes out all four of his power tools and proceeds to give me a third shot. Are you kidding me?! Okay, so we're back in the mouth now to finish up the job, and all I want to do is yell, hurry the fuck up! Get your metal out of my pretty mouth! And the sound. The sound was excruciating! It scared me shitless! It was almost worst than the pain! I kept listening to the screeching and imagining what it would feel like if I weren't numb. The sound was going to hurt me! So he keeps poking, drilling, cleaning, smoothing, sanding, more drilling, sucking, poking, heating, poking, almost done! Liar! Ten minutes later he is finally finished and all he can say is, "that was a bad one. You better not eat until that numbness goes away, probably three hours." What a dick. Excuse me, but next time could you please be a little bit nicer? Do me a favor and try to inject enough novocaine the FIRST time. Tell me I'm going to be alright while you are welding away at my teeth. And, for the love of God, NEVER tell a girl she isn't allowed to eat. Fucker! So, now its three hours later and I am STARVING. My cheek is numb, my chin is numb, and I can't feel half of my tongue. I tried having some water, but it just dribbled down my chin, like I'm a freaking geriatric. Nice. Real nice. As for all my friends who said it wouldn't hurt...screw you. Next time I say I need someone to hold my hand at the dentist's office, I mean it! When I get my teeth cleaned, I'm dragging someone's ass down there to hold my hand. Don't think I'm joking. Rachel-I know you empathize with me-I'm right here with you girl...I'll hold your hand any time you need it...and I'll blot your tears. For everyone else out there, brush your teeth! Now! Go do it! Hurry! I wouldn't wish this upon my most hated enemies.

Now, get me some food damnit.

And a margarita.

WORST 10

Why did I decide to embarrass myself and post incredibly lousy pictures of myself (and my friends-hahahaha suckers!*) for everyone to see? In hopes of making you laugh, of course!! These ten photos are the the ugliest, weirdest, and most freakish pictures you will ever come across on this blog. Now you can see a part of me that I usually like to keep locked away in the depths of My Documents. Enjoy, giggle, make fun of me, but please, I beg you, don't stop being my friend (or anyone else pictured here). :)

In order of least bad, to delete-NOW-and-empty-the-recycle-bin-HURRY!

"Helya, you're beautiful."

"Hi, we're relatives of Bozo the Clown, and we're here for the party."

"You chopped off my head!"

"Don't eat me!"

I'm pregnant, and her name is Smirnoff.

I don't even know what to write here.

Can you see the hangy ball thing? I can. Click to enlarge and die.

Be a friend and cut them off. WTF!?

Whoever decided it was okay to take this photo needs to put down their drink.

and the #1 worst photo of 2005:

They let me out on a day pass.

* if anyone posted here would like to be removed, please leave a comment. I am sure I can find a substitute-my computer is full of nasties.

Best of 2005

I dedicate this post to the best twenty three photos of 2005. Laugh, remember, but most of all...enjoy! (click to enlarge)

*Thanks Rachel for helping me decide among our millions!